I Belong With You, You Belong With Me, You're My Sweetheart

Ever since I was a child, I always thought that twins were a spectacular phenomenon. I always wondered and was fascinated about their relationship and closeness to each other and why they come into this world together? Who am I kidding... I still get choked up, for example, when I watch TLC's Brittany and Abby, the show about the conjoined twins, or when I see newborn baby twins together!

A little history for you, when I was 15 months old my mother went into labor with fraternal twin girls, but unfortunately the twins did not make it through the labor. My mom named them Holly and Noel because they were expected to arrive around Christmas time. I remember not understanding why they died and my mom never was really given an answer herself. She had these two beautiful porcelain dolls dressed in white blessing gowns that represented Holly and Noel, and she kept them in a very safe remote place where they would never experience damage. When I asked, my mom she would always let us see them and play with them gently. When I was in the first grade, I became best friends with a girl name Kylie, she has an identical twin named Morgan and as we became the best of friends, I showed Kylie these dolls and told her the story of the two little sisters I had. Kylie and Morgan moved away to Chicago when we were in the third grade, but even through time and distance we have been able to sustain a great relationship and I miss them so much since they are nearly 1,500 miles away!

As I became a mother, my sensitivity for twins only intensified. When I called Kylie and Morgan to share with them the news of having twins, I felt my bond with them strengthen even more. When I see twins {especially newborns} I just stare and gaze at their amazement at them as if they were celebrities. I begin to ponder the same thoughts that I have always had; they had to be here at the same time at the same place hitting every milestone together and in some cases they even share the exact same DNA. The meaning of twins and the impact they have made, in my life, haunt me with wonder and curiosity and I have recently been able to come up with an answer for myself of why I am sensitive to this rarity.

In our faith we believe that there was life before this earth called the pre-existence. There we lived as spiritual beings where we knew our heavenly parents {who created us} and we CHOSE to come to this earth. When I think of the family unit and the friends that we have, I can't help but think about how we are spiritually intertwined with one another and how we thrive to have those relationships, especially with our siblings. I once read a quote that said, "God knew I loved you too much so he made you my sister." That always stuck to me, and my beliefs about the preexistence made it seem that much more true - that we don't choose who our siblings are, and if we allow it then they can become some of our best friends. When I think of twins I like to believe that in the pre-existence they loved one another too much to be sent down separately - that they wanted to always have a buddy to be around, someone to hit every milestone with, someone who they could connect to on every single level - that their mission here on earth is much greater and more important with their sibling right by their side.

Now I am not saying every twin and sibling is this way, but why else are we astonished at the fact that two spirits came to this earth at the same time? For me, it rings true to the doctrine of our church, that there was life before this one, and that we had bonds and relationships that couldn't go completely unforgotten, and that we exist not in spite of ourselves, but as constant companions for those we love, to be there for them, as a support system that is unconditional. To me, twins are a constant reminder of that fact.

When we first found out we were pregnant I fell in love with music by Mumford and Sons and The Lumineers and many more. When we still thought and weren't aware of the fact we were having twins I thought, "This baby is going to love music!!! I don't know why music has raised such emotions in me." Every single time I would hear The Lumineers "Ho Hey" I can't make it through the song without crying. To this day the lyrics "I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart" makes me bawl like a baby. The thoughts that strike such piercing emotions are not only that these twins are my sweethearts and I feel like they belong in our family, but they belong with each other, to traverse this life with one another by their sides. To me it's the most beautiful thought! I hope they will be the best of friends and will have a bond greater than what I already felt they have. What a blessing to experience parenthood, and what a blessing to feel the love within the family unit! This is what life is all about!!