**Disclaimer: This may possibly be the longest post I have ever written, but I promise it is worth it! It is mostly about the birth story and the days leading up to it.**
As week six rolled around, I could not believe that I had made it soooooooooooo far. I was 33.5 weeks pregnant and only a few days away from hitting our second goal of 34 gestational weeks. I was so proud of myself, it was such an accomplishment!
On Tuesday, March 19th, I was starting to hit another wall. I was sad to think I might still have another 2-3 weeks of that place and it was hard to keep a perspective of time. I was hooked up to the monitor where they keep track of my contractions 24/7 and the twins twice a day for 1-30 minutes {big range huh ahahha}. On Tuesday, I was waiting for them to set me free off that ball and chain so I could hop in the shower... but there was a change of plans. Baby A {aka Rose} kept having variables in her heart rate with every contraction. In the past it was usually Baby B {aka Snow} who gave more concern. After a few hours my high risk doctor placed an order for me to get a more intense ultra sounds where they would make sure both babies were okay and if there was a specific reason for her distress. Nothing abnormal appeared so I was left with three monitors on my largely round stomach for 48+ hours. Let my just fill you in on a little secret, during the middle of the night when you would roll over, the monitors would move causing them to loose the heart beat of not just one but both babies. That would mean the nurses would come on in and reposition the monitors, sometimes it would take them 45 minutes to locate the babies heart beat. Sleeping was... was.... well if I can't say anything nice, then I wont say anything at all ahahah, but I will not complain since I only had it on for such a short time period.
That new discomfort was discouraging. I knew in my gut that the twins were fine, and I knew they were healthy and I wasn't nearly as concerned as the doctors were. On Tuesday night my OB comes in to my room and tells me, "Well it looks like we might be having some birthdays tomorrow!!" I looked at Gian and my face instantly lit up! To know that there was an end date to this extended stay was liberating!! Especially because only a few moments ago I was still under the impression I had 2-3 more weeks left, and like I said before, I knew that there was no danger or harm to my unborn children. It's a weird feeling to try to express unless you can already relate to that gut feeling of "I just knew!!" I instantly started to tune my doctor out with day dreams of holding these two little ones and bringing Ekemona home. I then realized I wasn't paying attention so I tried to home back into the conversation nonchalantly. My OB informed me that between him and my high risk doctor they came to the conclusion that the babies weren't doing any better in me and that they may need to come out the next day. If Rose began to change and progress then they would keep the twins in for as long as the next week when I was exactly 34 weeks. He proceeded to tell me that he would schedule me for a C-Section the next Monday morning. Since both twins were head down I really wanted to try to have them vaginally, especially after how nice of a labor I had with Ekemona, I felt like I could really handle it. So I asked if I could try for a vaginal and my OB replied, "No, it's not safe. Me and Dr. Mills feel it is best the babies not withstand the stress of labor due to their history of not being able to handle your passed contractions." And then just like that the decision was made. I had prayed to know which decision to make and not push for my agenda, knowing that there are so many more complications that come with twins and to just roll with the punches and it was weird to literally not have to make that decision. It was already made for me... and I am happy it was one I didn't really have to make!
As Monday got closer, each day seemed longer and slooooooooooooower, snd I kept thinking how uncomfortable I was with knowing the time and day the twins would enter this great big world! I wanted them to feel like they got to choose their day.... I mean it is their birthday after all. For some reason that deeply bugged me. The night before their scheduled grand entrance my contractions picked up and I was having 9-10 an hour. At that point I was like, "Who cares!! They are coming in a few hours anyways!" but my nurse insisted I took it easy and she came in about every hour to make sure I wasn't in pain. She even woke me up a few times to ensure I wasn't in full blown labor. RUDE!!! haha jk! I loved her! But because of this I believe the twins would have come regardless of my scheduled C-Section.
Both Gian and I set our alarm clocks to wake up and pack up my room... PACK UP, as in goodbye... adios, aloha, ingat, au revoir, sayonara, shalom.... okay you get the point, we were pretty stoked! Since my brain was so excited I woke up about an hour before my alarm went off so I decided to do my hair and makeup. Not to mention I felt like it was a special day and I, for the first time in six weeks, wanted to look special. While I looked at my calendar for the very last time before taking it down I glared at it with glee and victory! It was so glorious to count each and every one of those orange checks that occupied each right hand corner of the passing days I spent in the hospital. Then I realized the small writing on the box that represented today, it had "passover" written on it. That stuck out to me since my dad used to be Jewish before converting to the LDS faith and also because Gian and I were married on Rosh Hashanah. It was really amazing and special to me, and at that moment I knew these girls chose this date! They created it to be THEIR birthday regardless of the scheduled C-Section.... they wanted this! And those anxious emotions I felt, diminshed.
My parents came and met us in my room, I got my IV did paper work, Gian transported our belongings to our next location, and I was wheeled away into the recovery room. Man was that room cold!!! Not to mention the marine layer was hanging low and the chill in the humid air seemed to seep its way through the walls. Once we got situated in the recovery room I was then wheeled in a bed into the OR. I instantly got scared at that point, and Gian was not allowed to come with me and he was not allowed to be there when I got my epidural. As the loud heavy door closed behind me I saw an OR that was nothing like the movies and most certainly nothing like Grey's Anatomy. It was small and there were no windows ANYWHERE!! I saw the huge round lights that hung above me and two bassinets where the twins were planned to go the second after birth. I instantly started to cry. That isn't what I wanted... not surgery,,, and I was scared to feel pain and to recover. I wanted my husband there and my mom to witness the birth, but it wasn't the hospitals policy. We all would have written a waiver to free them of any liability if it meant we could all be together, but they wouldn't have it. I got my epidural and they laid me flat on my back. I could hear the nurses counting off the instruments and then them reading off my medical chart, "White female, 25, identical twin girls...". Each twin had three nurses, a neonatal doctor and a respiratory therapist. That there alone was ten people. I had two nurses, two doctors, the anesthesiologist to the left of my head and Gian to the right of my head... if you've lost count that is another six people. I get why they wouldn't let my mom in... between me and the twins that was a grand total of 18 people in a very small room.
My OB painted my stomach with iodine and then had some magical paper blanket with some kind of seal he placed over my skin. They then raised the paper blue curtain and started the procedure. I was shaking and to be completely honestly everything seemed like a haze. I don't remember being alert, but I remember having memories, but it doesn't feel like I was conscious. They invited Gian to stand up to view the birth of his daughters. He looked at me and with an excited voice, "They have so much hair, McKinley!!!" I was shocked, I wanted them to have hair so bad because Ekemona did, but I assumed they wouldn't because they were 6 weeks early. At that moment my anesthesiologist held up a mirror for me to see the twins be born. At first I was HORRIFIED to see blood... my own blood!! If you don't know me let me just tell you I can't handle that shiz!! Nope!!! It makes me hysterical... literally! And I am working on it because I am trying to be stronger and not annoying/lame! I didn't know where to look at first so of course my eyes first landed on blood and my incision, but after a fraction of a second they were pulling to Rose {Baby A} who was screaming her little lungs out. It was such a beautiful moment and I started to cry. She had so much dark hair and she looked just like Ekemona did when he was first born. Then in a matter of seconds they whisked her away and Snow was born just one minute later. They suctioned out her mouth and she gave several cries, not as loud or as strong as Rose but it proved to me they were healthy and I felt like they would not stay in NICU for very long. They just had such strong spirits and they made it clear! Witnessing your child being born is the most amazing and joyous experience. I absolutely love that fraction in time where it seems like heaven and earth are the same realm, and for a warm fuzzy second it feels like the whole universe has completely stopped to welcome a perfect and amazing little body. It's an absolute miracle, blessing and privilege!
Now I will not lie to you and I will tell you, that even though I just painted you a great picture of my experience I will tell you that I experienced more pain then I should have felt. After the twins were born and the doctors were still working on me that amazing magical warm and golden moment completely disappeared. Gian left my side to go cut their cords and to be with his newborns. The neonatal doctors brought the girls to me so I could see them and meet them, but at this time I was in so much pain I was trying my best to focus on breathing. The anesthesiologist was asking me what I was feeling and where and I can't even tell you.... it's not like I could point to that region anyways. All I knew was it hurt! I kept my eyes closed and focused on my breaths and other white noises. I remember the doctors talking, but I have no idea what the conversation was about but they seemed to be having a great time and were very happy little souls! I remember hearing people talking about my pain and I know they were doing everything they could to manage it, but nothing seemed to work. They informed me that I was just one of those rare people who just felt more then normal. Gian went off and away with the girls into NICU while I was pushed back in the the recovery room. There they were finally able to get my pain under control, but I was seeing two of EVERYTHING! I was loopy, but still coherent. I am thankful for that because I know I was able to still have a special experience over all.
I loved having my mom and dad come shuffle through and I love that they got to go up and see the girls in NICU right away. I am so thankful to have had the support from my parents. They are amazing! I'm serious when I say, it hurt me a little to know that everyone got to see the twins before me, yet I was so happy that all three of them were able to have their own special moment with the twins. I felt like I was too drugged up to really enjoy them. We didn't even get to hold the babies until 48+ hours after their birth. That made it hard for me to want to share the joy of them via social media/text because I haven't even had the joy of them yet, but I will never forget that special moment when Gian came back to tell me his experience of the birth and meeting the girls, it was something I wished we had captured on tape!
The next few days of recovery were seriously rough, but it all got easier with every passing day. I loved being able to walk over to NICU to see the little ladies lay peacefully in their isolates, and these girls had a rocking view from their room too! Right over the ocean!! The first few hours Rose and Snow were admitted into NICU the doctors told us to prepare for them to be in NICU for three weeks, but none of us were convinced. The twins never needed any help with their breathing and all the doctors and nurses were completely impressed with their size considering they were twins and six weeks early. They both scored an 8 on their apgar. They were only on a feeding tube for a few days while they learned how to breath, suck and swallow all at the same time. Snow had a harder time at that, but still never was worrisome. The twins had a little biliruben tanning session to help out with their jaundice. These ladies were just awesome as could be! And I'm not even being biased.... they wanted to be born on that day and were ready to prove it. They spent only 6 days in NICU and all the nurses kept complimenting how they were some of the most well behaved babies they have ever seen in NICU. Okay, so maybe I am a proud mama!!
After nearly 7 weeks in the hospital, I was finally discharged on a Friday. Ekemona came back the next day on Saturday and the twins came home that following day on Easter Sunday. It was a wonderful and perfect weekend. Our family was finally back together again and it was such a dream come true. There were days I wasn't even sure this was going to be possible, or days I wasn't even sure I could make it another day, but all that hard work and sacrifice was payed off with the best reward imaginable... a healthy and happy family!
I would do it all over again if God asked me to. This is what life is all about, this is what brings me more love and happiness then anything else on this earth. Having children opens a chamber in your heart that you had no idea even existed. Seal that with unconditional love of your spouse and that is all you could possible ask for in this life! Everything about this difficult pregnancy was worth every discomfort and every pain, every stretch mark and pound gained, every tear shed and freedom I felt was lost.... it was all worth the fight!! This is my greatest mountain I've ever had to climbed. It pushed me mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally! And I feel victorious!
One of my closest friends, Jessie {aka The Reason} came all the way from Utah to visit me. It was a total surprise and I had no idea she was coming. One Friday, she just walked straight into my room without any warning! It was so awesome and exactly what I needed! I also cried hahaha.
One day I was given a "Wheel Chair Ride" outside. THat was the first time in 3.5 weeks I "stepped" foot outside. It was glorious! I can't even begin to tell you what it felt like to feel the sun on my cheeks, to smell the salty ocean air, and to feel the wind blow through my hair. My senses felt like they were brand new. It was quiet emotional!
Our view as we got to sun bathe for 20 mins.
One night the sunset looked pretty amazing!
Another great friend, Morgan {we've been friends since we were 6 years old, Actually, she herself is an identical twin} was in town all the way from Central Illinois. Her and her husband paid us a visit. It was amazing to hang out all day and just talk! We love them!
The night before my scheduled C-Section, my contractions were picking up so I tried to document it. Each hump is a contraction. This is about a 30 min time frame.
One last picture with me, my mom, and that pregnant tummy.
Gian cutting Snow's cord.
Dad and his Snowflake.
Oh hey ladies!!!
Our celebratory meal at the hospital {don't be fooled we really celebrated with sushi and it was divine!!! I craved it my WHOLE pregnancy!}. I loved the Martinelli's. PS Did you know after a C-Section they don't want you to use a straw because it can cause more gas. Interesting.
Snow White and Sleeping Beauty as they lay peacefully in their glass cases!
Their first tanning session hahaha jk it's just their biliruben lighting!
Little Ekemona finally came home and we took him to see the twins. I am glad he was able to meet them in the hospital before the huge adjustment happened.
Getting pushed out of NICU was so neat. All the doctors and nurses seemed to line the long hallway wishing you farewell while gasping with joy and excitement, as if they were all clapping with our victory! Everyone knew what an accomplishment it was to finally go home and it felt good having a mini cheerleading team guiding the way to the door.
Finally all five of us together again! Don't you love Gian's face? ahahha It pretty much summed up how we were really feeling!
Their homecoming outfits! I LOVE THEM!!
I was .009 seconds too late at capturing Ekemona welcoming his baby sisters home. He has been so cute and so sweet to them. He loves to give hugs and kisses and run to them when they cry! He's a great big brother and a great big helper!
Finally THE END!!
