The R-Word

Today is National Stop the R-Word Day and I have been thinking about this topic for a long time, but it has always been hard for me to find the words to why I'm so passionate. My friends blog inspired me to write a post, to share with you my emotions, pains, passion and experiences around the use of the R-word and why it just isn't slang but indeed profanity.

I have a niece with Cri du Chat. To me she is a delightful bright and strong spirit. She is motivated and she loves, she is precious beyond words and to me I believe she is perfect. I have been thinking what it must be like for her, where her motivation comes from and why that darn cute little girl is always so happy, and it dawned on me, she believes she is normal, she believes she is perfect and she believe she can conquer any problem she faces. She also has awesome parents who keep pushing her to her fullest potential that leads her to believe all that I said above is true... and that's because it is true!

I know this because I saw my mom do it with me. When I was diagnosed with APD it was so severe that the doctor told my mom I would never learn to read or write or hold a job. My mom replied with shock, "What??!?!" The doctor then pointed to my ears and said, "You see she has low set ears, she will never learn" {which for the record, there is no link to low set ears to any form of disability}. My mom went into her car and cried. With rage she slammed her fist in to the stirring wheel  and yelled out loud, "SHE WILL READ, SHE WILL WRITE, SHE WILL, SHE WILL!" Throughout the years, my mom would talk to tutors and teachers and other scholastic authorities and they would always use the word "disabled" or "disability." My mom couldn't take it and demanded they change the word to "ability to learn differently." My mom would say, "She is not disabled, she is fully able. And by using those words you are in fact drilling into her head, unconsciously, that she is not capable. We need to change the words that describe her differences."

In my mind I was normal. I never saw myself different than the kids around me, I never knew how hard I struggled, I never knew I was that much different. All I knew is that it was hard for me, and that I couldn't grasp the information like everyone else, that it wasn't easy, but by being with friends and family, I was able to have fun and play and use my imagination which in return created unmeasurable amounts of happiness and self esteem. I was able to blossom and grow according to my own timeline and no one else's, and if anyone said differently to me I could brush them off because it wasn't true. They were the ones who were wrong, they are the ones who had the problem.

I share this with you, because of two reasons 1). I see it with my niece and I saw it with another girl who had sever Autism, and with my guy friend who was paraplegic, and my other friend who had sever brain damage. All they wanted was to be viewed like everyone else, they wanted to have that play-date, they wanted people not to stare, they wanted to be on the same level as everyone else, which is where they thrived from and where  their motivation was conceived. This is what kept them from ever believing they were different. 2.) When I was a young teenager I would use words such as "gay, retard, retarded and handicap" and it wasn't until my friend Chesie told me why it hurt her and other people. She corrected me every single time until I stopped using the word and I am so thankful to have a friend like her with those morals and standards to take a stand for what is right.

So the reason the words "retard" and "retarded" are not acceptable or considered profanity is because it is WRONG to limit a person due to their ability to do things differently. It is wrong to take a technical medical term to describe a negative situation or emotion. It is not just slang, it is not just a joke because our public broadcasting has censored the word to be not be used in TV shows or radio, and other people are taking a stand to let you know it hurts deeply when the R-word is used as a description to put down something or someone in a situation.

If you would like to join the fight then take this pledge and spread the word to end the word.