The Real Tooth Fairy

Sooooooooooo, I truly believe that my personal hell would be at the dentist for all eternity! Why you may ask? Well I don't think I am alone in this but here is my reasoning:

*I dislike the way their office smells

*I dislike their dumb fish swimming around in the lobby trying to calm my nerves

*I dislike the noise the drill makes

*I dislike the shots

*I dislike the way their gloves feel in my mouth (that's what she said)

*I dislike the scrapping thing they do when they clean each tooth

*I dislike the x-rays and those things in between your teeth that you have to bite down on

*And mostly I can't stand more then anything, the way I feel when preparing for the dentist

I don't think I am one to have anxiety issues or cry... but there is something that makes me timid and shy and sit in the fetal position with tears when waiting for the dentist to approach me. Can you see why this would be my ultimate punishment?

You see, as a kid my teeth were as soft as snow. So I have always struggled with cavities, and if you ccouldn't tell by this post I recently visited the dentist. I was fine on the drive there, I was fine sitting in the lobby filling out paper work, but then it hit me... I am at the dentist!! HOLY SHIZ!!! All my childhood fears overcame me like I was just thrown into a pool of frigid ice water... I was paralyzed.

The assistant could tell that I was having a great time and really excited about this... NOT. So she asked if I would be interested in laughing gas. I looked at her as if I had never heard the idea before. With wide eyes I accepted and threw my head back waiting for her to pump that delightful gas into my lungs. I waited, and waited, and waited. I could hear the tank making a quiet whisper so I knew it was just leaking out waiting to enter my lungs! Where was the mask? Why didn't I have anything to breath except plain old air? Who wants stale air when their muscles are as tight as a drum? I needed this delightful gas to make me laugh, not cry!

She then returned back to the room and informed me that they had no oxygen but only nitrogen and that I could not have the laughing gas because it would make me sick. I DON'T EVEN CARE!!! I can get sick if that means I can actually relax and stop having anxiety. So I cried, I held my hands tight and cried some more. All I could think about was how I wanted to go home and crawl into bed and not leave for at least 24 hours, while I processed all of my emotions.

After doing one tooth on my left side they were thrilled to share with me that I was able to get the laughing gas. I think they were happier then me at this point. Can you picture this chick crying the whooooooooooole time you are drilling? I am sure the doctor was more annoyed then anything. I CAN'T HELP IT!! I just had to cry... OK!?!?!

Once the gas kicked in, my shoulders relaxed and I didn't have a care in the world. I could hear the dentist trying to talk to me, I didn't even acknowledge him. I was as limp as a bag of sand and as content as one of those care bears sitting on their little clouds! I actually started to think my teeth really looked like this:

It made my whole experience 100x better. So thank you to who ever invented the lovely cocktail of Novocain and laughing gas. I think you are the real tooth fairy!