I am So ...

... Excited I could bust!! My face is flushed, red and hot like a coil stove. My hands are clammy with fear and joy! Could this really be real? Can this really be happening? It came out of the middle of nowhere and I just cried with tears of happiness; I immediately texted Gian with the news, my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding a million beats a second. I had to call my Mom and Dad. I needed their advice and council. I tried to hold my composure, but my cracking voice gave me away. My dad asked me if everything was fine, and I cried harder. I was trying not to scare them, but I just was overwhelmed with emotions I could hardly take it.

One of the first things that came to my mind was, I have been dreaming about this. Literally, I've been having this recurring dream for the last 3 months about this exact situation. I just thought I was releasing emotions in my dream - things that I have been hurting over, things I have been wanting, things that I have been craving to express, but now, just not more then 30 minutes ago, it was all made clear to me. I was dreaming about what was in store for me. I believe that God has placed this in my hands and that He really knows me better then I know myself... better then anyone knows me. I must be doing something right!

Today while I was talking to my Dad, I told him one of my greatest fears is failing and he told me, "So what, fail. FAIL WILDLY!! Go ahead and fail so hard that you will have no regrets." I expressed more of my emotions to him and he said, "If you're so scared then don't do it! Then you will never worry about how you couldn't fail" and I replied "Hell no.... what fun would that be?!? I would never learn anything if I did that," and that immediate response made me realize how much I wanted this! My fears of failing were diminished. How did I get so lucky to have such amazing parents who could coach and counsel me in such a positive way?

I feel like I have been prepared for this moment. All the thoughts that are rushing through my head are confirmations of things I have been feeling in the past, and I know that this must be right! I feel empowered, confident and strong. I feel like the sky is the limit, and this is only the beginning. Every cell in my body is doing their own little victory dance. I can only imagine the possibilities!! Watch out world... here I come!